I remind you that I have three mean bones in my body. I am flexing the smallest one right now. Isn't she un-lovely? Seriously, she looks like Tony Danza in drag. I wonder if she has more testosterone than a bull shark? I don't know why I wonder such things, but I do. I would love to run some sort of government sponsored experiment regarding the levels of testosterone in non lipstick lesbians and bull sharks or the Louisville basketball team. Aaah, the possibilities of government funded research... I could fill an entire afternoon devising clever projects. Who wouldn't want to know which drinking fountain had the coldest water in Minneapolis? Endless opportunity. And yes, she does look like she ran the 100 yd dash in a 50 yd. gym, got third place in a knife fight, and went bobbing for french fries. Poor thing. She should really consider being the next contestant on Extreme Makeover. I wonder if that could help her with all of her unfortunateness.
Please excuse me, while I go and stare at my beautiful face in the mirror for the next half hour. I am going to be honest, it IS easy being so ridiculously good looking. I don't mind it one bit.
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