Its A Sad Sad Day... Just The Tip Of The Iceberg

Its a sad, sad day in America. I have a strange suspicion that the current events that have exploded into the news today are merely just the tip of the iceberg. Where things go from here, I haven't the faintest idea. I do know one thing... today was not exactly as VH1 says it... the best day ever.

The senate passed perhaps the silliest piece of legislation since the whole light bulb thing last year. Kelly Clarkson has ballooned up to 347 lbs. It seems all of baseball is on steroids. The octuplet's mother wants to be Angelina Jolie. And, last but not least, the Baltimore Bullet... aka Michael Phelps is looking to face drug charges. I need a stiff drink, stat.

I guess I will never fully understand just how massive government spending will stimulate the economy. I wish Pres. Obama would pontificate on this issue. He surely knows more than I do. After all, I am a simple Yankee girl, and he is the president of the United States. I fret that he is not sure how it does, either. And this whole thing is a sham. By the way, what ever happened to Barney Franks? How can anyone in Washington pretend that he never existed? Stupid fool! I hold him quite responsible for this mess. Sigh. I just don't know how going after the upper crust will boost the economy. It may feel awesome, but I question whether or not it works. Double sigh.

Kelly Clarkson looks like she just stepped out of a three month binge at Krispy Kreme. I don't know what she did, but I would bet my bottom dollar that if she could turn back time, she would. Someone find this woman a trainer and a gym membership immediately. It seems that in a moment like this, Clarkson could use Nutrisystem.

Today it was confirmed that America's pastime no longer includes catching pop up fly's and stealing home. Juicing is now the preferred activity by MLB's top players. A-Rod admitted to it. Tajeda plead guilty. Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens are screwed. The leagues integrity is in the toilet. Perhaps this is the one thing that President Obama and I have common ground on... We both find it disgusting. At last, a silver lining. Like pretty much everything going on these days, this seems to be just the tip of the iceberg.

Ms. eight babies appears to resemble a very very bad interpretation of Angelina Jolie. I love that she opted to use a clinic in Beverly Hills to impregnate herself, all the while she was on government assistance. (welfare) The images of her home look worse than any dilapidated college house on the U of M campus. Could we get a social worker, please. Never mind, Cali. is broke. These kids are gonna fall through the cracks. Good thing she has that $480/month to raise them on. Phew.

Michael Phelps and Company are screwed. Apparently even the owner of the water pipe in question is currently in hot water. Good thing Mr. Phelps is used to being wet. This kid is gonna take a fall for some petty crime, wasting tax payer's dollars, clogging up the courts. Fame is perhaps not all it is cracked up to be. It must be a long long fall from the top. Glad I am not high flying adored.

How in the heck did we get to this place in America? I would apply for citizenship down under, but it seems that all of Oz is burning. I just don't know anymore. I need a drink, an anti-depressant, and a new president. Anyone know of a good doctor or politician, or for that matter, a liquor store with extended hours?